I never knew my maternal uncle-in-law (basically 大姨丈) well, but it still came as a shock when I saw my parents leaving our house two nights prior, asked where they were going and my mum replied with the bad news. Though I blurted out that it's so sudden, she knew he wasn't long when he was sent to the hospice a while back.
I struggled, contemplating if I should attend the wake - does that happen to you? I imagine most of my friends wouldn't have had such issues, but being the awkward turtle that I am, I struggled. Because for me, I find it hard to attend a funeral of someone I don't connect with. I can attend a total stranger's funeral if someone close to me is related to the deceased, yet I can't find the motivation to go for the funeral of a maternal aunt. How horrible and regrettable that my familial ties are never strong. And sometimes I wonder if the sloth in me is just taking over and consuming my life. (Okay, that sounded so melodramatic.)
In any case, I do mourn my uncle's death, even though our interactions were limited to the short hour-long Chinese New Year visits for the past 24 years. I think my mum is rather affected by it, and I can only imagine how much worse it is for my aunt. I don't pray, but I do hope that my aunt would watch her health and be at peace with the loss.
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