Love Song
I've been feeling really stressed these fee days - about finding a part-time job, about EDS (a very troublesome module) and about slacking. Obviously everyone's feels stressed about these things at some point of their lives, but I take things too hard. I don't know why but I can never ever tell my friends these things and make them convinced that I AM feeling damn affected. Not that they're uncaring bitches, something just gets lost in communication and my worries gets downplayed a lot. I used not understand why Da-eul Kim chose to commit suicide out of loneliness, but now I do. There's so much on my mind, but there's always no one I can truly consult and get solutions, or at the very least, consolation.
Maybe (I wouldn't like to be so superstitious) I'm just a true blue Leo - prideful and egoistic. I hate to lose and I like to compete. If I lose, I just can't accept that I am less capable and just can't feel sincerely happy for somebody. It irks me and I guess it prevents me from laying down the weapons when I should. Taking a leaf out of the Korean pop culture, I suppose I should always have the rookie mindset - being humble and working towards goals.
When we watched "My Black Mini Dress" in Korea, my friends asked about which of the four leads remind us the most of ourselves. It was obvious to me because I related to her quite well, especially our personalities.
Sometimes I hate that I have flaws that have stuck to me since birth, just like unwanted gifts - only they aren't so easy to dispose of. I used to think selfishly like Ex-Roommate - why should I change my personality? It's ME! - but if its a flaw, disposing a million wouldnt even hurt me at all.
There are many things I'm envious of, but only one thing I'm truly jealous about others - their ability to truly connect with another person, care and be concerned for the other party, like siblings, lovers...I guess simply put, to be able to simply love somebody, regardless of their relationship.
I'm just glad that at least I know what my flaws are and is gonna do something to fix it.
Maybe (I wouldn't like to be so superstitious) I'm just a true blue Leo - prideful and egoistic. I hate to lose and I like to compete. If I lose, I just can't accept that I am less capable and just can't feel sincerely happy for somebody. It irks me and I guess it prevents me from laying down the weapons when I should. Taking a leaf out of the Korean pop culture, I suppose I should always have the rookie mindset - being humble and working towards goals.
When we watched "My Black Mini Dress" in Korea, my friends asked about which of the four leads remind us the most of ourselves. It was obvious to me because I related to her quite well, especially our personalities.
Sometimes I hate that I have flaws that have stuck to me since birth, just like unwanted gifts - only they aren't so easy to dispose of. I used to think selfishly like Ex-Roommate - why should I change my personality? It's ME! - but if its a flaw, disposing a million wouldnt even hurt me at all.
There are many things I'm envious of, but only one thing I'm truly jealous about others - their ability to truly connect with another person, care and be concerned for the other party, like siblings, lovers...I guess simply put, to be able to simply love somebody, regardless of their relationship.
I'm just glad that at least I know what my flaws are and is gonna do something to fix it.
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