한별 (Implode)
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"돌이킬수 없는 시간들
무너져내리는 감정들
붙잡아도 손틈사이로 흩어져"
- BoA
They're like each other - kinda socially awkward. Both can judge easily and jump to unconfirmed conclusions.
But one is willing to listen to advice, while the other drown in her own misery.
If you tell the former about her flaws, she'll reflect on it and do something positive but the latter seems to just crawl deeper and further into her own world. So what happened when I told the former some bad news? She thinks the whole world hates her. Simply said, I meant that the former is more optimistic and the latter more pessimistic.
Perhaps there are some things I shouldn't tell another person - no matter how much I think I should; no matter how relevant is it to them. Maybe sometimes I should just let it slide and (bloody crap, cheesiness) protect them from the socially- and self-inflicted pain. But I guess it's in my personality to be too honest for my own good? What I think is that, I must let them know, so they do something about their predicament. I guess I can't just tolerate them staying at the same place forever, never daring to take a step. I'm the kind that's like "WUT That person said that about me?? Gosh! -pissed- -cries- Argh! Fuck it - not caring anymore." So I welcome honesty. I really want to let the former know - because being like this forever isn't going to help and she's just gonna be stuck in that limbo forever. I'll hate to see a "sadly ever after" ending. Maybe I'm rationalizing things to make it less severe and less my fault. Maybe. I can't really tell.
Honestly, everything is all in the mind.
I've decided (and realised) that nothing important is dependant on chance. There's actually a lot of hard work involved. Call me slow for realising now, but late is always better than never. There's a lot of things that can be changed purely through determination.
Simply by working during the holidays, I feel like I've learnt a lot - gained new experiences and met new people. I think I'm closer to the me that was in primary school personality-wise while my thinking matured, and I like that change because I like my personality in primary school a lot more. I'm still a long way from being more expressive but I think there's no rush - I like the pace and I don't mind staying with my current personality.
Maybe just for now.
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