Empty
Sometimes it can feel really lonely, even when the room is full of chatter; even when we're with friends.
It's prolly a reflexive feeling that is manifested due to the lack of attention. I can feel really low for no apparent reasons and be secretly hoping for somebody to notice - and I feel better already. It makes me wonder if, unconsciously, I'm being an attention-seeking whore. Duh yes, people need attention - because only when people notice you, you start existing, in a spiritual way. It's really not living if there's no interactions and connections.
When I think about how people dissappointment my expectations, especially when it's a friend, that with-someone-but-lonely feeling will crawl it's way into my brain. Personally, I don't like to not show it when I don't like something, and when a friend does that, it really makes me wonder.
Reflecting on that, I realised that I use my strengths as yard sticks when I determine what's right and wrong - if I can do this, he/she needs to match it or beat it. Egoistical? You bet! But the important thing is that I have to accept and understand the vast differences between me and the world.
I want to go on a short vacation alone! ^^
It's prolly a reflexive feeling that is manifested due to the lack of attention. I can feel really low for no apparent reasons and be secretly hoping for somebody to notice - and I feel better already. It makes me wonder if, unconsciously, I'm being an attention-seeking whore. Duh yes, people need attention - because only when people notice you, you start existing, in a spiritual way. It's really not living if there's no interactions and connections.
When I think about how people dissappointment my expectations, especially when it's a friend, that with-someone-but-lonely feeling will crawl it's way into my brain. Personally, I don't like to not show it when I don't like something, and when a friend does that, it really makes me wonder.
Reflecting on that, I realised that I use my strengths as yard sticks when I determine what's right and wrong - if I can do this, he/she needs to match it or beat it. Egoistical? You bet! But the important thing is that I have to accept and understand the vast differences between me and the world.
I want to go on a short vacation alone! ^^
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